The Angry Armenian
Friday rolled around and it was time to go to Las Vegas. Weather...check. Flight plan...check. Serendipitous babysitter scheduling...check.
A few hours before departure, my mother agreed to watch the children for our "quick" turnaround trip to Vegas. The plan: Depart Gateway for North Las Vegas (KVGT) at 3p.m., have a "quick" dinner and grab a "quick" cab ride back to the airport and be home by 11p.m. Yeah right...
After a brief hold for IFR release, we were off and on our way. We were assigned a route totally different that I had filed for, so the flight plan was virtually worthless. However, once we were handed off to Albuquerque Center, we requested direct Peach Springs then as filed and got it. It was the perfect time of day as we approached the Grand Canyon. The sun was beginning to set and the view was nothing short of magnificent.
The entire flight out was enjoyable until we reached Lake Mead. At that point, we began to encounter continuous moderate turbulence. My wife didn't care to much for experiencing that in night conditions. I think being over the water freaked her out a bit too.
Once LA Center handed us off to Las Vegas Approach, we were given vectors. The controller told me to report The Stratosphere in sight and then North Las Vegas. As we approached from the East, there sat the Stratosphere on the North end of the Las Vegas Strip - as big as could be. The controller came on again and said, North Las Vegas is at your 12:00 - 7 miles. Report airport in sight. It was programmed in in the GPS and it was directly in front of us, but we couldn't see a beacon or runway lights. To make a long story short, it wasn't visible until we were on the Eastern edge of the airport.
We had heard other pilots reporting difficulty obtaining a visual too. The controller said that everyone was having trouble finding VGT. I suspect the beacon was off. Once we were on the ground and parked, it suddenly became easy to see the beacon. Hmmm.
We ran into some other pilots while waiting for the shuttle. They indicated that they were unable to see the beacon too. One of the groups was from Sacramento. They were in a Piper Saratoga and the pilot said they encountered "severe" turbulence approaching Las Vegas and that they lost 500 feet in mere seconds at one point. Thankfully, we didn't experience that.
One group was going to Circus Circus (yuck) and the other was going to Monte Carlo. We decided to go there too. After not having eaten all day long and waiting 35 minutes for the shuttle, we were ready to eat anything. We hiked all the way across the Monte Carlo to "The Buffet" only to find a sign stating, "CLOSED FOR RENOVATION. Please enjoy one of our many other fine restaurants." Crap we had limited time and were hungry. Buffet food, though not really great, is quick and easy.
We decided to walk up the strip to Bellagio. Other than the wino lying on the ground who complimented my wife's Dooney & Bourke purse, the whores and the people snapping "adult" entertainment handouts at us every 6 feet, it was a really nice walk. By the time we arrived at "The Buffet" at Bellagio, "The Buffet Line" had formed. We waited nearly 30 minutes before the pleasure of hearing that "The Buffet" is $35.95 per person! We were far too hungry to protest and my American Express found its way to the cashier's hands.
We were both grumbling about how it better be the best buffet on the face of the Earth. We were going to eat our money's worth! "The Buffet" didn't disappoint. King crab legs, U-15 cocktail shrimp, ceviche, excellent clam chowder, scallops, Chilean Sea Bass, Kobe beef, Beef Wellington, prime rib, a host of Italian entrees, desserts like creme brulee, canollis, cream puffs and more. "The Buffet" was staggering in its selection and quality. We were impressed until...
I found a huge rock in my food. It was weird. A large black rock as large as a mussel shell. In fact, that's what it looked like when it was in the seafood dish. I had to know if it was part of the dish or what. Our server came by and I started to ask her. She took one look at the rock and headed off to get the general manager. I wasn't mad or even requesting a manager.
He came to the table and in the middle of saying "I understand you found a rock in your food", his eyes nearly popped out of his head. He said that he thought it was going to be a small pebble or something. He said that in his 35 years experience, he had never seen a huge rock in food. We assured him that we still enjoyed the dinner and our experience wasn't ruined. We really didn't intend to make a big deal out of it and just wanted to know if it was supposed to be part of the dish, like a garnish. He was very gracious and insisted on comping the meal. How nice was that?
After dinner we headed up the strip to walk of some of the thousands of calories we had consumed and started looking for a place to get a cab. We finally found a cab stand at the Imperial Palace (another Yuck). When our cab pulled up, the stand attendant asked where we wanted to go. When I told him North Las Vegas he said, "Why the hell would anyone wanna go there?" That pissed me off. I said, "I don't recall inviting you so what the hell does it matter to you?"
Up pulls our cab and we meet "Vasag the Armenian". I tell him North Las Vegas Airport and he says, "Sure go to no problem". I'm already sensing "problem". Vasag begins to talk: "I be in US of A country like 4 monts and come Las Wegas soon" "Las Wegas cab driver is sheet money make no good teeps from cheepos and get no lease on cab driver" "Los Angeelees is no sheet money where I go back beeg teeps" "American language is sheet not nice like Armenian"
He took us towards VGT running 2 red lights in the process, where the meter read $16.50. He made a wrong turn and drove us all the way down Lake Mead to Nellis AFB. I finally told him to stop the meter and turn around. He ignored my request and proceeded to make a phone call in Armenian, yelled at someone and then slammed his phone down. He said, "I get you airport no time more." and began to drive over 80 miles per hour back the other way. To say we were scared would be a huge understatement. Meanwhile the meter kept running. We were amazed to arrive unharmed and felt like cats on our ninth life.
He got out of the cab. The meter read $47.10. He said to me, "I give big discount for wrong turns. You pay $42." I said, "I'll give you $25 and that is being generous considering your dangerous behavior and the number of laws you broke. If that doesn't work for you, I'd be glad to call Metro Police." He took the money and was gone before we could breathe a collective sigh of relief. Good riddance to Vasag "The Angry Armenian". We really hope he finds a new vocation before killing some innocent passengers.
It was now 10 p.m. Las Vegas time, 11 p.m. Arizona time. The tower was closed and a VFR GPS direct flight back to Gateway was definitely in order. We departed on 30L and contacted LV Approach. The controller told me to stay clear of Bravo and he'd get to me when he could. I asked for a quick heading to avoid Nellis and McCarran and he gave me 160. He came back a few minutes later and asked if I knew where McCarran was and answered affirmative. He told me to cross 25 over the numbers on present heading. He then handed me off to "Mr. Wonderful".
"Mr. Wonderful" was very annoyed to have a Cherokee in his airspace. He asked for my destination, which I had already given the previous controller. I told him direct KIWA. He told me to resume own navigation and and turned on course. He came back a minute later and asked for our on course heading to destination and I indicated 120. He again cleared me to resume own navigation. By now, we were well clear of Vegas Airspace. Less than a minute later he came back and said that 120 would get in the way of arriving traffic, so I told him I would change course to intercept V105. No response. Apparently, he didn't care for my intercept angle either. He came back and asked if I knew which way Phoenix was, because my heading wouldn't get me there. That was it. I was done with him. I canceled flight following and picked up V105 without "Mr. Wonderful's" assistance. A few minutes later, I rang up LA Center and re-established flight following. Not that I have that much experience, but he was the rudest controller I have yet to come across.
Sunset over the Grand Canyon. Even though you can't see the canyon, the colors are pretty.
The view South of the Las Vegas Strip from over Downtown. Photo is blurry due to turbulence.
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