Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Some humor...

A pilot goes to hell.

A pilot dies and goes to hell. As he is waiting for the devil, he notices three doors. The devil is nowhere in sight so he walks over to door number one and peeks inside. There he sees a lone pilot, sweating over emergency after emergency, non stop bells and horns. Quickly closing that door, he creeps to door number two. There he sees a pilot going over checklist after checklist after checklist. Slamming closed that door, he steps over to the 3rd and last door. Inside is a pilot, along with three flight attendants who are pouring coffee, serving dinners and cold compresses to the pilot. Smiling he slowly closes the door and goes over and sits down. The devil finally arrives and tells him to choose a door. He laughs and chooses door no. 3. "Sorry" says the devil. "Door no. 3 is flight attendant hell".

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At one point, we were all primary students, understanding little, questioning even less, but placing complete faith in our instructor. Many of the little things necessary to get through the first few lessons before solo were done by rote, without a great deal of understanding. Such as ensuring anyone on the ground near the airplane was aware the prop was about to spin.

One instructor was working with a pre-solo student. Instead of using the phrase, "Clear prop!" before turning the key, the instructor had simply taught his pupil to use the word "Clear!", presumably shouted loudly enough that those inside the FBO could hear. Of course, primary students rarely fly in poor weather.

One day, preflight complete, the student reached for the key, looked outside the airplane, and shouted, "Cloudy!"

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Flight instructor to a student : "If your flying knowledge were written on a matchbox, there would be an ample room left for the Old Testament and few chapters from the new".

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Instructor to student : If a bird had your flying ability - it would fly backwards.



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