The Cognitive Test - a.k.a. - You're An Idiot And We Can Prove It

Things have been a little busy the past week. I took the family to a local resort that has its own water park. It's called the Pointe South Mountain and it's a great retreat from the heat here on The Surface of the Sun. While we were there, temperatures in Phoenix reached 114. (eye roll...but it's a dry heat). My paying job has kept me busy too.

So here's the best I can do with describing the cognitive evaluation.

It's a series of computer based modules that test some basic math, problem solving, visual acuity, hearing, hand-eye coordination, short-intermediate-and long term memory and a few other things. Anyone that takes this test will walk away doubting their ability as a basic functioning human being. In retrospect, now that the pressure is over, it was pretty fun.

It first does a series of math problems. Nothing earth shattering. Time & distance story problems and stuff like that.

Then it showed some symbols that correspond with numbers:

Now, these aren't the correct symbols, it's just an idea of what it's like. A character will flash on the screen for a second or two, and you use the light pen to choose the number that corresponds with it. The next test uses the same characters, but then puts a bunch of them in sequence and gives you an unspecified amount of time to do as many in a row as you can. The exercise ends with the screen going blank and introducing the next exercise.

Next, it shows all of the symbols in random order without any numbers. It asks you to put the corresponding number with the correct symbol...STARTING RIGHT NOW!

One that I can't really re-create is showing a ramp dude with a flag. You have to determine whether the flag is in his left or right hand. However, sometimes he's facing you and sometimes he's facing away from you. Sometimes he's upside down too.

Another one I can't show an example of is the hearing test. It plays a series of tones ranging from 5 or 6 tones to 12 or more. It plays them two at a time and you have to determine if they are the same or different.

The test would give one fairly simple test, then another fairly simple test and then combine them for a real crap storm. In the example below, the combination of tests includes identifying character sequences as same or different while centering a "glide slope-like" line every time it enters the red area, but not before. The line moves up and down rapidly and teases you near the red area.

The colors and direction test was also a fun one. From what I can remember, it showed 4 boxes on the bottom of the screen. Two that were squares with either colors or no colors and two with arrows that were facing right and left that were different colors. There were multiple exercises in this one too. For example, the computer would say "direction" and you would touch the corresponding box. Or it would say "color" or "shading". For the last one you have figure out what the computer was looking for without being prompted, then keep doing it until it "bonked" at you. Then you had to switch to another pattern that it was looking for and continue until the "bonk" and so on. Big fun. After that, I felt like I couldn't reason my way out of a cardboard box.

Next, refer to the symbols from earlier in the test and place the number with the correct corresponding symbol. Crap! I can't remember what I had for breakfast and this test expects me to remember a bunch of random symbols?

The last "fun" exercise was another combination. One exercise was to touch the number that flashed previously on the screen. For example: If 3 flashed on the screen and the next number was 1, when 1 came up you were to touch 3. Pretty easy when it's the sole exercise. Next was a line with two perpendicular lines in the middle and a triangle on top. The triangle moves to the left and right very rapidly, like a rabid rabbit. Your job is to keep it centered by rapidly pressing the right and left arrow keys on the keyboard. You are penalized if the arrow goes off of the line. Again, by itself it's pretty easy.

Last, do both of them at the same time. If you get a number wrong, it "bonks" at you and it makes a "bonk" if the triangle goes to full deflection. Though it lasts only a few minutes, it seems like an eternity. It's much more difficult than it appears, at least for me.

There were a few other exercises, but these were what I found the most significant. I made the drawings on my computer. They are just representations from memory. Please do not rely on them.

It doesn't really matter. There is no way to study for a cognitive test. Get a good nights sleep and don't drink coffee or Red Bull before hand.

I walked away from the test sure that I had failed it, second guessing almost everything I did. The benchmark was set by having 300 line pilots take the test and then set the median. I think most people do well enough to pass this, it's just nerve racking and a little intimidating.

In the words of Forrest Gump, who I feel I have much in common with after taking the cog test, "That's all I got to say 'bout that".